I do not know whether to laugh or cry as I read about Nadine Dorries and her evaporated peerage.

Whether or not her name was spirited off the resignation honours list submitted to Nr 10 by Boris Johnson, or whether she was actually found not be suitable for approval by the House of Lords Appointments Commission is of little interest to me.

What appears most farcical is that Ms Dorries feels it is her right to have (= get) her peerage, thus forever dispelling the illusion that such things were a kind of reward or recognition for services rendered.

The future Lady Dorries (or would that be Dame Dorries?) is exhibiting the behaviour of a spoilt child and lowering the value of life peerages for everyone, past, present and future.

Should it turn out that she should have been granted this honour, the only way she could possibly save face would be to throw her coronet, diadem or even her ermine robes, back over the railings of …

No, not Buckingham Palace this time, but number 10 Drowning Street. Charlie has clean hands on this occasion – I think.

Quite how so many recent incumbents of Nr 10 failed to tick so many boxes is a mystery to me. Theresa did her best, trying to mop up the spillage in aisle Europe left by David’s absurd gamble. Boris was a great leading actor (with a lousy hairstylist) but he failed to take his office seriously and elevated buffoonery to a fine art in the process.

Dear old Liz (no, not the late Queen) didn’t tick any boxes at all, poor thing, sending the national economy into downward spiral of ever decreasing circles. Rishi (or Clarence to those still able to remember Daktari) is rapidly discovering that being PM is no sinecure and the fact he has ticked the one box not one of his predecessors could will open up the field again in the next Tory leadership battle.

I do hope that when Rishi does go, they put the cat out aswell. Too obscure? Well, think of the slang word for a cat beginning with ‘m’ and you will soon get my drift.

HOLR (House of Lords Reform) is long overdue. I am totally in favour of an Upper Chamber, just not the way any Lord Tom, Dame Dick or whatever Harry obtains the right to sit there. Who do we, the people, want to have looking over the shoulders of the Commons? Some Lords and Bishops, fine. Some scientists, economists and other specialist groups also deserve a place there. Answers to this conundrum on a postcard please (remember them??) – and don’t forget to state ‘leave’ or ‘remain’ – just for the statistics, you understand.